The Surprisingly Simple Reason You Stay Stuck

Have you ever wondered why you seem to be stuck at a particular weight, or a particular level of fitness, or a particular amount of money in the bank?

If you’re like a lot of the people we work with, you’ve spent a fair amount of mental energy (and other resources) trying to make a change. And yet, you find yourself seemingly stuck…unable to move out of your current reality into that vision of your future.

The reason is both more surprising and simpler than you might think. 

In this episode, we will dig into what actually shapes our current reality (hint: it’s not your goals) and what we need to focus on in order to start making progress toward our future self.


  1. Our current habits and routines are perfectly calibrated to perpetuate our current reality.  
  2. Our most habitual behaviors are often invisible to us. We no longer recognize that other choices are an option.
  3. When we’re feeling stuck, we may have a tendency to blame outside forces for getting on our way. Usually, however, it’s an inside job.
  4. Sometimes we imagine that once we have created the change we want to create, we’ll set up new habits to sustain it. It actually works the other way around. Creating those new habits is what creates the change.

Lab Experiment

First, identify an aspect of the current situation you are interested in changing. Make a list of all the current behaviors and actions that are resulting in your current situation.

Then, using your current “blueprint” as a guide, imagine what your ideal self’s blueprint would look like instead.

Keep your new blueprint handy as a reminder until those new behaviors have become habitual.