How to Overcome Your Resistance to Change

In this first episode of a three-part series, we are digging in to why we so often resist making positive changes in our lives. Resistance isn’t simply stubbornness or laziness; it can be your brain’s way of keeping you safe. The key is to recognize what our resistance is trying to tell us, so that it doesn’t hold us back.  

Key Takeaways:

– Remember that resistance is often a self-protection mechanism, not laziness or stubbornness
– Be alert to the four ways that resistance might show up: emotionally, cognitively, socially, and physically
– Instead of fighting resistance, get curious about what it’s trying to protect
– Take the smallest possible step toward desired change to build confidence gradually

Lab Experiment

Step 1: Awareness

The next time you notice yourself pushing back against a change – even a positive one – pause and notice what’s happening in four areas:

  1. Your emotions: What feelings are coming up?
  2. Your body: Where do you feel the resistance physically?
  3. Your thoughts: What story are you telling yourself?
  4. Your relationships: How might this change affect your connections with others?

Step 2: Curiosity

When you notice resistance, instead of saying “Why can’t I just do this?” try asking “What might I be trying to protect?” 

Step 3: Incremental Action.

Ask yourself “What’s the smallest possible step I could take toward this change?”

Related Listening

Episode #137: How to do the things you don’t want to do